The best collection of suppandi jokes!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

MASTER: Now that you have earned enough money working under me i suggest you to start your own business
SUPPANDI:Yes Master!I have been thinking of it lately.
MASTER: Oh!Is it?! What kind of business did u plan?
SUPPANDI:I am planning to start a saloon in PUNJAB!!!!!
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Suppandi’s master was a small time business man. He had told Suppandi to always try to earn a profit.
Master: Suppandi, I am expecting a washing machine from London Stores. Go and give this Rs.50 note to the shopkeeper and get the machine.
On the way back from the store, a man met Suppandi.
Man: How much did you buy that machine for?
Suppandi: Rs.50
Man: I will give you Rs.90 for it.
Suppandi thought that he was making a profit and sold it and reached home.
Master: Where is the machine? Suppandi: I sold it off on the way for Rs.90, a clear profit of Rs.40.
Master: You fool, that machine was worth Rs.9000. I was paying for it in installments.
Master: Your Fired!!!
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Suppandi’s new master was the owner of a departmental store.
Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers always open it and check it for defects.
That evening- Customer: One film roll please.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened the film roll?
Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, master.
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Suppandi’s master was going out.
Master: Suppandi , keep an eye on the dog.
Suppandi: Yes master, but..
Master: But What?
Suppandi: What do I do with the other eye??
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Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that i can see my face and shave!!
Suppandi: Yes master!!
Goes to the market and returns home without a mirror.
Master: Why didn’t you get a mirror?
Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors i could see only my face!!
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Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I’ll get another one from the market.
Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe master.
Master: Don’t be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other.Then one day…
Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.
Suppandi: Yes master.
Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?
Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.

One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout.
Then one morning-
Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi!
Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night.
Master: But then why didn't you shout for help?
Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.

Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest.
That night-
Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took you so long?
Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.

Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring?
Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.

Master: Suppandi, I cannot find one of these socks, where have you dumped it?
Suppandi: Here it is master.
Master: If you don't keep things in the proper place, they are bound to get lost.
That evening when the master's son came home from school-
Master: How come your Geography teacher has written a note that you are not studying properly? What did you do?
Son: My teacher asked me where Washington was located, and I didn't know where it was.
Suppandi: You would have been able to find it, had you kept it in the right place!


Master: Suppandi, I cannot find one of these socks, where have you dumped it?
Suppandi: Here it is master.
Master: If you don’t keep things in the proper place, they are bound to get lost.
That evening when the master’s son came home from school-
Master: How come your Geography teacher has written a note that you are not studying properly? What did you do?
Son: My teacher asked me where Washington was located, and I didn’t know where it was.
Suppandi: You would have been able to find it, had you kept it in the right place!

Suppandi was once interviewed for a job as a prison guard.
Inspector: Hmmmmmmm….. Now these are really tough chaps in here, do you think you can manage?
Suppandi: No problem, If they don’t behave, out they go.

Suppandi’s new master was a gardener.
Master: Suppandi, I had asked you to weed the garden today, why haven’t you done it yet?
Suppandi: I thought that I will do it tomorrow.
Master: Silly boy, never leave anything for tomorrow, when you can today.
The next day-
Master: Suppandi, pluck all the ripe mangoes from the garden.
That evening-
Master: You fool, why have you plucked the unripe ones too?
Suppandi: I thought I will pluck them today, instead of waiting for you to tell me to to do it tomorrow.

One day at lunch- Master: Suppandi, why have you cooked only one dish, you must always do a little extra than what I tell you to do, more never hurts.
That evening-
Master: Suppandi, get me a cup of tea.
A little later-
Master: What is this? Why have you got me 4 cups of tea?
Suppandi: You only said, a little extra never hurts.

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